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Why Tantrums Happen and How to Handle Them Effectively

Parents and caregivers at a preschool in Potomac, MD, know that temper tantrums come in all shapes and sizes. They can happen anywhere, with kids sometimes having epic meltdowns that include yelling and kicking. You might see them flailing around, throwing themselves on the floor, or even taking off running. Sometimes their arms go stiff, and their backs arch dramatically. Some kids might even hold their breath, throw up, break things, or accidentally hurt themselves or others.

Understanding Why Temper Tantrums Happen

It is not unheard of for kids up to 3 years old to have temper tantrums. Younger kids are still developing their words, emotions, and social skills. They might get angry because they can’t always say what they want and need, like wanting to do things themselves. They are also learning how their actions affect other people. Tips for helping Preschoolers To Navigate Big Emotions.

Tantrums are one way that young kids show and control their emotions. Sometimes, they try to figure out or change what’s happening around them. Tantrums are not limited to younger kids; older kids have them, too. This might be because they haven’t learned how to talk about or handle their thoughts in a safe way yet.

The thing about tantrums is that they are involuntary; most kids don’t choose to have them. While children may occasionally throw fits to get what they want, most of the time tantrums are the result of overwhelming emotions that they simply can’t control.

Happy and sad smily faces.

How Do I Handle Tantrums or Big Emotional Outbursts from My Child?

Ignoring a child’s bad behavior, including a tantrum, is often the best thing to do. It also helps to praise the child a lot when they are able to handle their emotions well, even if it’s just something small like taking a deep breath.

What is the Most Effective Way to Handle a Tantrum?

Depending on why your child is upset, you should handle tantrums in different ways. There are times when they need comfort. In other cases, they need a nap or a snack. Sometimes, it’s best to ignore a temper tantrum or give your child something else to do.

One of the best ways to stop a child from throwing a fit for attention is to ignore it. If your child throws a fit because they were not given something they want, stay calm and don’t go into too much detail about why they can’t have it. Now, do something else with your child.

Don’t pay attention to your child’s tantrum if it’s because you told them to do something they don’t want to do. But make sure you stay true to your word and have your child do the job when they are calm.

During a temper tantrum, kids who might hurt themselves or others should be taken to a safe, quiet place to calm down. This also goes for public tantrums or at a Potomac, MD preschool.

Mother talking to her angry daughter who is having a tantrum trying to calm her down.

How Do You Break the Tantrum Cycle?

You may wonder how to handle your toddler’s temper tantrum if they are hitting, screaming, and yelling. These kinds of tantrums are harder to handle, especially in public. While there is no right way to handle things, most experts agree on what doesn’t work.

Blaming and hitting are at the top of the “don’t” list. Things like begging, buying, and giving in are also not recommended. Here are some things you can do to help break the tantrum cycle.

Be Consistent

In the middle of a temper tantrum, giving in to whatever will end the behavior can be easy. However, this can be bad in the long run. If you give your child a cookie to stop their tantrum because you said no to a cookie, they will learn that if they throw a big enough fit, they will get what they want. When you say “no,” you should really mean it. You should only say yes if you are okay with what they want to do or have. They’ll know what to expect from you from now on.

Giving in is sometimes the smart thing to do. Just keep an eye on the balance. Using this style of approach too often sets you up for failure. A good rule of thumb is to use the giving-in approach on minor things, like listening to a song on repeat just for a quiet car ride.

Allow Them to Feel Their Emotions

Everyone gets mad, sad, or frustrated from time to time. Let your child feel their feelings for a while. This helps them better understand what they are feeling and may even help them overcome their problems. Stopping dangerous actions like hitting or kicking is important, but giving them a little time to talk can help a lot.

You should still remain near your child during their tantrum. This shows them that you are there for them when they need you and helps keep them calm. Its also important to give them a safe, quiet place to go when they feel overwhelmed.

The silhouette of the children holding hands, enjoying the sunset

Let Them Calm Themselves

Using a toy or another activity to divert a child can be beneficial, particularly for toddlers who are too young to understand reason. This is a strategy to end the tantrum cycle rather than a means to appease the child.

Since they are less likely to become distracted, older toddlers can frequently benefit from taking a moment to themselves. Walk out of their direct line of sight, but leave them in a secure location. When children are given time alone, their tantrums usually end really quickly.

Work on Coping Skills

The following method works well for children around age 3. To start, you can help them identify and name their feelings. “You look like you’re getting really angry right now.” “Could you explain what’s happening?” Then, you can help them learn how to deal with their feelings by demonstrating how to take deep breaths or giving them a comfort item, like a blanket or stuffed animal. Counting to ten is another good way to help them calm down and take their mind off of what’s bothering them. Click for activities to boost emotional development in kids. 

Final Thoughts

Whether they happen at home, in public, or at a preschool in North Potomac, MD, dealing with a temper tantrum is never fun. It is helpful to remember that they are hard for your child, too. Sometimes, your child is simply trying to express their upset feelings because they don’t know how else to communicate. So, instead of viewing temper tantrums as behavior issues, see them as opportunities for learning and moments when your child needs extra support.

 

 

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