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Guide to Better Communication: Getting Your Preschooler to Listen

A major concern for almost every parent out there is how well their child listens. It’s totally normal for kids to want to keep playing when they are having fun. When a parent makes a request that puts a damper on the fun, children have been known to respond with a wide range of behaviors, from whining and complaining to unleashing hurricane-force tantrums. Parents sometimes find themselves needing to reiterate their requests, resort to threats, or even raise their voice just to get their child to comply.

Like many other parents and caregivers from a preschool in Silver Spring, MD, you are probably tired of repeating yourself. All you want is for your kid to start listening, maybe even the first time. And while we can’t guarantee that things will change, we can offer you some ideas to help improve your preschooler’s listening skills.

How to Improve Communication in a 4 Year Old?

If a child has a hard time communicating, they are really going to struggle with listening. Improving your child’s communication skills helps them become a better listener. Simply talking to your child is the best way to improve both communication and listening. Don’t just talk to them though, make sure you are actively listening. If you want your child to be a better listener, you must be a good listener yourself!

By the time a child is 4 years old they should be able to have conversations with those around them. Anybody who works in a Silver Spring preschool can tell you just how talkative 4 and 5 year olds are. Not only can they tell you about their day, they are also excellent storytellers.

Close-up portrait of happy family or mother, father and little boy laughing.

How Do I Get My Preschool Child to Listen?

Had enough of the endless repetition with your little ones? You won’t believe it, there are some secrets to getting kids to listen and actually do what you ask!

Come Down to Their Level

It’s always best to avoid barking out orders from across the room. Yelling across the house is destined to fail. Soon enough, the little ones will start responding with classic lines like “I didn’t hear you say that,” or “Were you calling me?”

We want to ensure absolute clarity, leaving no room for confusion. When you call for your child, you want them to know you are specifically talking to them. “Hey insert name here, will you please come here?” Well, there’s no doubt about it, you are definitely talking to them.

Caregivers from a preschool in Silver Spring share that when you want a child’s undivided attention, it’s important to establish eye contact. When you get down to their level, you are not only making sure they are aware of you, but you are making sure they know you are talking to them.

So, it seems like you’ll have to temporarily abandon your laundry or take a break from whisking and venture into the adjacent room. Being close is crucial, as it means you are not yelling across the room or ordering them around, you’re engaging in conversation with them.

Eliminate the Word “Don’t”

Keep your hands off your brother. Do not run down the hall. Stop messing around with your food. Don’t do this, stop doing that. The list can go on forever. The problem is kids have to do two things to understand negative orders like “don’t” and “no.” They need to figure out what they shouldn’t be doing and then what they should be doing.

For preschoolers that is confusing at best. For instance, if you tell a child, “Don’t touch your brother,” they need to both stop what they’re doing and figure out what they should be doing instead.

Rather than use negative commands, tell your child what they should be doing instead. For example, instead of saying “Stop touching your sister.” You can say “Your sister doesn’t want you to touch her, can you keep your hands in your pocket while we walk into the store.” It’s clear and to the point, your child knows what to stop doing and what is now expected of them.

Mom scolds her child for not listening.

Say Yes More

It’s no surprise that kids start tuning out when “no” becomes your default response. Find more opportunities to say yes and embrace new experiences. Saying yes not only pleases your child, it also grabs their attention helping them become better at listening to you.

Why say “No, you can’t have ice cream” when you can say “I like ice cream too! How about we have some after dinner tomorrow night? By saying yes more, you improve the likelihood of your child paying attention to you, even though there will still be instances where a firm “no” is necessary.

Keep It Short

Parents, but let’s be real here mainly moms, have a tendency to transform a brief response into a lengthy explanation! When you want to grab your kid’s attention, keep your message short and sweet. By keeping things short and to the point, you’ll prevent them from tuning you out!

Little girl plays with her mother in a summer park.

Don’t Make It a Question

Although it is important to speak with kindness and compassion, it is equally important to be firm. Avoid making your instructions a question. It’s a common mistake we all make, but it’s important to keep in mind that posing things as questions or adding the word okay at the end is giving your kids a choice. And you will find yourself doing this sometimes. When it happens simply go back and rephrase things.

Check Their Understanding

One of the best ways to ensure your child is listening is to have them tell you what you just said. However, this should only be done after you make eye contact and kept things short and to the point. If you aren’t clear in your communication, you can’t expect your child to know what they are supposed to be doing. When everyone is on the same page, communication and listening in your home will instantly improve.

Final Thoughts

Parenting can be quite challenging when it comes to getting your child to listen. It’s frustrating to say the least when you must constantly yell, repeat yourself or use a punishment to get kids to listen. Getting your child to listen is a process that requires effective communication and a consistent approach.

Even those who provide care at the preschool in Silver Spring, know that if you want children to listen, you must also listen to them. Kids will whine, scream, or throw a fit to get your attention if they don’t feel like you’re listening. It’s amazing how fast those behaviors disappear when you start actively listening to your child. If you are not listening to your child, how can you expect them to listen to you!

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