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Understanding the Emotional Needs of Toddlers and Preschoolers

Your little one is already starting to show their unique personality, even at just 3 or 4 years old. By the time they turn four every child has their own likes and dislikes, and it’s lovely to see their individuality emerge more each day. Plus, they are getting so much better at being able to talk about their feelings, meaning fewer temper tantrums. They might still swing from one mood to another pretty quickly, but they’re more inclined to chat about feeling angry or sad instead of having a full-blown meltdown.

What are the Emotional Needs of a Child?

Children are born with certain basic emotional needs, including the desire to be loved. Their emotional development and sense of self-worth are based on these emotional needs. As parents and caregivers at a preschool in Olney, it’s absolutely your job to make sure your child’s emotional needs are being met.

Love

What children really need is a constant sense of love and security. This means understanding that their parents will always be there for them, no matter what happens. Unconditional love goes a long way in creating a safe space where kids are free to explore their feelings and figure out how to handle tough situations.

Loving young father and little preschooler son hug cuddle

Understanding

Children need to have their feelings validated, as a parent you can do this by showing empathy and understanding. When they share their sadness, anger, or frustration, it’s important to recognize their feelings without passing on any judgment. While this might not seem like a big deal to you, to your child it makes them feel understood and shows them good ways to handle their feelings.

Positive Attention

Children love when their parents pay attention to them. Now, this doesn’t mean hovering over them constantly. It’s more about giving them focused time to feel seen, heard, and valuable. When you take the time to give your children positive attention, you show them that you recognize their hard work. You are also celebrating their successes and showing that you value their unique personalities.

Structure

Kids really appreciate having a routine and some structure in their lives. Having a set schedule or routine isn’t about trying to control a child’s every move either. Offering them a set schedule helps kids feel safe and more in control of their day as they know what to expect. Knowing what is happening and when it’s happening encourages kids to explore things around them without fear.

Mother listening to her daughter's feelings

Being in Control

As kids go from being babies to toddlers to preschoolers, they want to be able to accomplish things for themselves and have some control over their actions. Now this doesn’t mean you let your child have control over everything they do; you want to make sure you are giving them age-appropriate options. Giving them this opportunity teaches them about making decisions, both good and bad. Allowing kids to be in control of some things also allows them to explore their interests and helps boost their self-esteem.

How to Understand the Emotional Needs of a Child

We can easily spot what a child needs physically: food, warm and clean clothes, a safe place to live, regular bedtime, and medical care when necessary. But you know, a child’s mental and emotional needs might not always be easy to spot. As parents and caregivers at a preschool in Olney, MD, it is up to you to understand your child’s emotional needs to ensure they are being met.

Actively Listen to Your Child

Set aside distractions and focus completely on your child when they want to share their thoughts and feelings. Just listen without jumping in or giving advice that wasn’t requested.

Mother talking, playing and coloring with her son and daughter at a table

Talk to Your Child

You can only connect with the child or help them chill out if you show that you understand their perspective. Imagine being in their position; it’s all about understanding and really considering what they could be experiencing. At that moment, that toy or snack feels like the most important thing to the toddler.

Take a few minutes to sit down with them and let them know you understand what they’re going through. This doesn’t mean you have to give in to what they want, but you can help them figure out ways to handle the tough times. Acknowledging their feelings is important; toddlers don’t like feeling ignored or misunderstood. They just want to know that someone gets them and understands how deep their emotions can be.

Understand Your Child’s Temperament

Temperament describes the types of “automatic” emotional responses and habits that we have. Our personalities are formed by our genes and the things we’ve done in our lives. Babies are born with a certain temperament that doesn’t change much over time. However, the temperament that shows up in the first few years of life is highly linked to personality later on.

When parents or caregivers at a Olney preschool take the time to figure out a child’s temperament, they can form strong bonds with that child because they can understand the child’s natural tendencies and get ideas on how to help them. It’s only one part of the picture that helps us understand and deal with kids. In the long run, relationships, experiences, and surroundings all affect how someone acts. If an adult helps a child understand their personality, they shouldn’t tell them it’s good or bad but should accept and respect it.

Mother and boy toddler son sitting together face to face outside.

Taking Interest in Your Toddler and Preschooler

All children love it when adults praise them, but toddlers and preschoolers really eat it up. They want to show you their new skills and accomplishments so badly that you will be proud of them. Being interested in your toddler’s or preschooler’s latest finger painting or dance moves, for example, can help them feel better about their own self-worth. Giving them support when things don’t go as planned helps them learn how to think and keep going.

At this point, though, they also want to be able to “do it themselves,” which can put them in dangerous situations. Kids need to know that they can explore and try new things, but you will be there to stop them if they go too far. Knowing that they are not alone and that we are setting limits makes them feel safe and at ease, even if they do push these limits sometimes. They want to know that you will protect them.

Final Thoughts

Nurturing a child’s emotional needs can really help them grow into happy, emotionally intelligent, and balanced adults. You’ve really given them a strong emotional base. They’ve picked up a lot from you and have blossomed into confident, self-assured, and independent adults. They know they can always count on you when they need support.

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