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How to Handle Separation Anxiety in Babies, Toddlers, and Young Kids

Separation anxiety can differ a lot from one child to another. Some babies can get quite upset when you’re out of sight for a little while. Some children appear to experience ongoing anxiety when it comes to separations during their early years, especially when they start attending a preschool in Silver Spring.

Getting through separation anxiety calls for some good preparation, smooth transitions, and a little patience as time passes. It’s easy to overlook, but parents feel the same heartache as their kids when they part ways. Even though we often hear our little ones stop crying shortly after we leave, how many of you have felt like you’re “doing it all wrong” when your child clings to your legs, sobs for you to stay, and mourns the goodbye?

As a parent working outside the home, separation anxiety can lead you to wonder if you’re making the best choices for your family. While it’s completely natural and a lovely indication of a strong bond, separation anxiety can be a bit unsettling for everyone involved.

At What Age Does Separation Anxiety Peak?

Separation anxiety, or separation protest, typically begins around 9 months of age, reaches its highest point near 15 months, and gradually diminishes before the child turns 3. Your child’s temperament and your personality, along with how you respond, can influence the intensity and duration of separation anxiety.

Daughter hugging her mother before they go to preschool in Silver Spring, MD.

How to Help Children Overcome Separation Anxiety?

One great approach to ease separation anxiety is to encourage independence and support your child in handling their emotions on their own. Here are a few friendly suggestions to help alleviate anxiety during times of separation and support your child in developing resilience for the future.

Practice Separation

Why not begin with some fun separation games? They’re a great way to introduce young kids to separation! Playing peek-a-boo with your baby is a delightful way to show that you always return and provides a playful opportunity to discover object permanence together. For little ones, hide and seek can be just as fun! Chatting with your toddler while you’re hiding is a great idea! This way, they’ll know you’re still nearby, which can help them feel more at ease as they get used to the game.

When you’re ready to start leaving your little one, ask Grandma to watch them while you go to the grocery store. Practicing separation can help your child feel more at ease during short periods apart from you and build their confidence in knowing you’ll be back.

Mother practicing separation with her baby in a crib to work on separation anxiety.

Acknowledge It, Don’t Ignore It

It’s important to acknowledge and validate your toddler’s feelings. Recognize your child’s separation anxiety by saying something like, “I understand you might miss me, but I know you’ll have a great time at your Silver Spring preschool.” When you’re together, enjoy reading picture books about separation anxiety. Children’s literature can support their growth in social-emotional learning skills by presenting them with relatable situations.

To help your child not feel lost or alone, you can prepare them ahead of time by talking about what they can expect once you leave. Reading books to your child is a great way to practice and prepare them for being alone. This might not seem important if you have a baby, but it can really help! Telling your child about what happened in a way that is right for their age can help them feel safe and comfortable, even if they don’t fully understand.

Mother holding her baby.

Make Goodbyes Short

When it’s time to leave your child at their preschool in Silver Spring, MD or with a new caregiver, it’s a good idea to let them know ahead of time that you’ll be parting ways. Be sure to share when you’ll be back, too! Keep your goodbyes and hugs short and sweet. If you come back for another hug or seem a bit upset or anxious, they might wonder if something’s bothering you.

It’s really important to avoid sneaking away, and it’s best to come back when you say you will. Overall, let’s share that separation isn’t something to worry about. Doing so helps them build confidence and independence.

Give Your Kids Some Time to Adapt

Before leaving your child somewhere new, it’s important to help them get familiar with the environment first. Allow them to engage at their own pace while you keep a watchful eye on them. Sometimes, they enjoy being held by someone, but other times, they might feel it’s a bit too much. Being close by allows you to comfort them quickly if they start to feel upset.

Be there for your toddler and allow them the time they need to explore at their own pace. This approach helps them grow their independence and feel more at ease in social situations later.

Adorable baby girl sleeping with her favorite toy at a daycare in in Silver Spring, MD.

Offering a Favorite Toy Companion

Give your toddler a special item to hold onto when not with you. It could be something that brings back memories of home, like a picture, a stuffed animal, or a cozy blanket. Letting them bring a special item they have picked out gives them the comfort they will need while being separated from you. When letting them pick out the item, make sure it’s something they can easily carry.

Remain Calm and Don’t Rush

Young kids will feed off your confidence, and many will even mimic it. Your little one looks to you for guidance to learn what’s “okay” in their world. Keeping a calm demeanor helps your baby or toddler feel secure, letting them know that everything is just fine and they can return to their playtime when they can’t see you. It’s important to recognize that this can be tough for your little one. It might be nice to say something like, “I understand this is tough, and you’d like me to stick around.” I’ve got to head out now. I really care about you, and I’ll return before you know it!

Give yourself a bit of extra time in the morning to help your little one get ready for preschool in Silver Spring, MD. This way, they won’t feel rushed, making the transition or separation a little easier. Plus, not rushing gives you a few minutes to work through your own emotions so you can follow through with your original plan.

Final Thoughts

A child’s reluctance to part from you can show that they you are forming a strong and healthy bond. Eventually, your child will understand that you always come back, which can comfort them when you’re not around. It also allows kids to build coping skills and gain independence.

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